What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
14.06.2025 06:05
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
How is bestiality wrong, but killing animals for sport or trophies is considered okay?
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
She loved him until the end.
How do people develop stage 4 cancer without noticing until it’s too late?
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
What is a sermon to talk about men?
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
My family never makes their pension either.
What did i know ?
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Why do men cheat on their wives with someone extremely unattractive?
So, i spoilt her more .
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
How do you get people to follow your Quora Space?
I was seconnd youngest,
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
It was going to be , some day.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Who then, do I blame.?
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
And i lived it daily.
Which race of women are the hottest?
This is soul school!.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I have no regrets .
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
She found it foreign!.
When was you wife swapping fantasy started?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
What do you remember that 95% of us have forgotten?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I couldn’t, believe it.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I write beautiful poetry .
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Put me off passion for life!!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
All the time i was locked up.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
She was in good health!
But ive been too sick for many years..
We were not on the streets..
I was scared of men, in general
I never cut or harmed myself..
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Ive learnt so much.
Would this be the day?
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Im still living with it.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
We all went to grammer schools
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
He knew the spot.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I will be 64.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I was very sick at this time too.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
He was dying to do it , i knew.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I could never make a relationship work though!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
My life is so biszare .
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I think the readers, may guess!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
(And it was in our own minds.)
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I said to her
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
So whats the point in blame.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I was 9 years of age.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But it wasn’t much.
I don,t even have a pension.
But, we were locked up after school.
Was to survive, this bastard.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
She wouldn,t have been !
She married twice! .
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
When she asked me how she looked .
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
One cannot live in the past .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Especially a lifetime of it.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Comes on , in middle age.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
As i do to all so called friends.?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I waited trembling.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Why did i forgive my father ?